Dude!

It's funny I like it. I wonder how would it look with some outlines?

rate mine http://www.threadless.com/critique/16769/Robots_Attack

I like the shadows, but I agree with eworks, something is not popping. perhaps an outline or change the colors (a triadic color scheme?)

http://www.threadless.com/critique/16727/The_Offer

Changed a ton of stuff, including colors, text, added the drop of paste on the ground, etc.



Any comments much appreciated, thanks!

very nice... the second brush might have be one of those gum brushes.. asking "got any gum?"

Thanks! Gum brush? Not sure I follow.. :D

*bump* :D

Hmmm, I think the shadows are unnecessary, and anyway, the arms aren't casting shadows, so that's weird to me. Also, the white of the brush is kind of blending in with the background color, so I think you should make it darker (the background, not the brush).

k this is going to sound like a lot, but bear with me :) It's all nit-picky-but-ultimately-harmless suggestions, rather than a 'critique' per se.



1. I might try some hand drawn text. Obviously this one needs text so that should help limit the number of "lose the text" comments, but I feel like those folks are usually more open to text with a hand-done feel. (as it is though it's already a big improvement over version 1)



2. The bristles are a little hard to make out with the light colored tee. I might try either using a darker color to define the bristles. I also might experiment with some other color tees, if you haven't already. You might be surprised and find that ocean blue or whatever really makes the whole thing 'pop' a bit more.



3. Obviously I can tell they are toothbrushes, but I think they could look a little more realistic. Probably by giving them some more curves (bend and narrowing of the neck for sure) and maybe even a line defining the front-most edge so they look a little less like Gumby.



4. Lastly, the 'drunk bubbles' over the first one's head are very subtle in those colors. Maybe try to punch it up a little.



good luck!

I think thunderpeel gave some awesome suggestions, especially about the bristles being quite hard to see. This is a good idea and I'd like to see it refined, keep at it.

Cool! thanks for the comments, I'm working on a revision right now..

cute concept! I think it would be great if you had them just sitting back in beanbag chairs with a lava lamp and like, totally contemplating their bristles, dude.

Made quite a few drastic changes, definitely looking forward to the feedback!



Thanks!

The brush need a little more work, more detail, the pasted is ok, the hands are not cute... and i could take off the shadow... just an opinion.

Wtf @ the hands. It looks like some five year old drew it. Fix, please.

I'm really liking the evolution on this one, keep those critiques coming!



Trouble uploading.. sorry for the extra versions.

*bump* Any critiques? :D

Good idea. I like it. Maybe make the font different. It looks too much like it was hand-drawn with a paintbrush tool (looks a little rough).

What is "pasted", is it good?

I assume it's a pun of "wasted."

haha well i ot the idea nice but the only thing i kinda find shaky is the font for the words maybe look up a toothpaste shaped font i know i've seen one before...

but if u get a chance check out my design i need critiques bad =(



http://www.threadless.com/critique/17550/Bad_Milk

haha i like this. what about adding in some kind of background? maybe a cup for rinsing, or some mouthwash? I dunno, it might take away from the focus, or it might add to it..

I really like the progression of this design. Here are my two cents for what it's worth.



Assuming that "Pasted" means that he is stoned, I would imagine that the character would look a little more loose. As it is the "pasted" brush looks stiff. I would make him look a little more curved or bendy. As for the other brush, I'm assuming he is sober because he doesn't have any paste on his bristles. He could remain stiff. I would also maybe put more paste on the left brush. Maybe on his shoulders or some dripping down his side as to say the gu putting it on him missed and got him all messy. I picture Bill Murray I Ghost Busters after getting slimed.



I hope this helps. Good luck with the design.



Noj

I liked the 1st tooth brushes more than the later versions and agree with the comments about colours



Maybe it's a bit big on the shirt, but that's just a preference of mine

I like the colors of v1 more.Besides,I don't think thet really need hands.I like how you changed the font.

This version is so much better I can hardly believe it! Placement-wise I'd make them a little smaller on the shirt, but that's purely a personal taste thing, not a real criticism. Love love the new writing, usually not a fan of speech bubbles on shirts but these just work so well in the design. The new arms look pretty great too. Funny, cute, I dig it.



If you have time, it'd be great to hear what you think of my design:

http://www.threadless.com/critique/17339/Proud_That_You_re_A_Self_Made_Man

man i love this!

Thanks for the comments! Supposed to be more of a pun of 'Wasted" than stoned, however I suppose they both work. I'll make a few edits an repost, I feel like it's getting close but could be a little bit better.

Thanks! Yeah, I think the main thing I'm debating on right now is the text.. probably going to go with a variation of my first idea.

I like the first one the best, and I agree completely with Noj Solrac about the left brush being more bendy and pasty, to really show the pun off...



but other than that, I say go for it!



if you have time, could you critique mine too?

http://www.threadless.com/critique/16483/Rubix

i like version 3 best.



critique mine? http://www.threadless.com/critique/17847/angry_tv

try diff shirt colors.

Thanks!

Great, great feedback. This is looking better every version and I'm looking forward to this round of critiques. I bent the 'pasted' dude out of shape, added some stray bristles, and put an extra glob of paste on his shoulder. What do you think?

i F****** love this one dude....

i saw it before but i thought it was already done! i would buy this in a second...





btw about mine, when you ment shadow do you mean like a drop shadow or like a complet shape under neith?

Pretty good! Submit!



Any comments on this?

http://www.threadless.com/critique/17317/Keep_Nothing_Unsaid

Thanks!



Hoping for a few more comments/critiques before I submit this one..

Looks really great!! I wouldn't change a thing from how you have it now!

Thanks! :D

Any input on the colors of the shirts? If you look at the different versions you can see that I've gone through a few ideas..

For those of you marking this as "Needs Work", please provide comments so I can work on areas that may need improvement. Thanks!

In my opinion, the dude on the right shouldn't be happy about it. He should be a little pasted himself to be able to say "Dude!".

the pasted one could be sitting sloutching against a wall (shown by shadow and horizontal line) all pasted as, with the other one also pasted as capuzz says looking at him

hahahahah...nice one. i wonder if instead of a speech bubble you could just have a line leading up to text in quotes. right now there are lots of things to look at and that might make it better. Take a look at my second version

http://www.threadless.com/critique/17858/A_higher_state_of_connectedness

I like it on light blue. Makes it feel like a bathroom. Actually maybe you could make it look like there are tiles in the background, like tile shadows if you know what I mean, maybe not... Anyway, very cute.

-------------------------------

Please leave me some feedback for Maneater.

yeah like the idea of tiles

Yeah, I like the idea of the tiles as well, maybe I'll play on that.



I'll check out other font options, any suggestions for a font style?



Thanks!

I actually kinda like the font you have now. It looks like it would be on a toothpaste box.

Yes!

This is awesome. What if you used the font from v6, but left the style of the bubble itself as it is in this current version? Love all the other changes!

Yeah, I'm having a really tough time with the font because everyone either likes the v6 version or the current version.. or neither!



Hmm.. more font votes?

This is like way better than that first one you posted, it's come a long way and I think finally ready to sub!

Thanks! I think I'm getting really close, but I need to figure out that font.. hmm..

Alrighty! I worked out a new font that I think incorporates the styles of both of the previous fonts, so hopefully everyone likes it. Also, I added in a tiled bathroom and a splattery sort of counter top that's crusted over with toothpaste (I tried it smoothed out and.. just didn't look pasted enough!).



So, definitely looking forward to some critiques on this. Thanks in advance!

I think it's the best yet!!! ( i especially like the bristles on the green brush!)

I have 2 problems with it though

1. it bugs me that the brushes haave different styles of eyes (random much?)

2. I think the pasted brush could be even more bendy/pasted



but other than that, I say go for it

it rocks :D

Thanks! I'll keep those comments in mind for my next version.

i tink it will look so much better on a blue shirt! haha. its very interesting. i will wear it! =)

It's funny. I like humor like this. Not sure about the white stuff on the bottom? Tooth paste?

yeah, the bottom is like toothpaste. I thought they were just floating before so I tried to come up with a background idea.

Good humor.



The one point that's wrong for me is that the brush on the left is holding a very small tube of toothpaste... which breaks down the rest of the world you've set up around them.



A tube of toothpaste should be twice the size of the two characters.



Apart from that (very personal) point, it's spot on.



Thanks for your comment also.

I agree with dom_1 you need a giant tube of toothpaste to go with the rest of the design. it might also help explain the white floor as being tooth paste and not soup suds or something similar.

the firs version draw is better

Alrighty then! A giant tube of toothpaste is on the way!

make the toothpaste only like twice the size.



I think the background tiles should only be one colour lines (white) and less circular (more random finishing) - and lose the blue colouring cause it detracts from the toothbrushs. I'd lose the the paste at the bottom also.

i really liked v1 it was simple and graphic. now its more like a comic type thing.

I actually have to totally agree with Atomic Ant,



the simple, plain style was very straight-forward, and quite appealing in its presentation.



I like the bristle work on this version, but I'm not so certain if the expressions are working, is his toothbrush friend thrilled that he's pasted?...why?



good artwork though

Atomic Ant, you hit it. Simple idea, simple execution. The end.

hehe.. well its made me laugh..

thank maybe work on the faces of the characters .. and colours.. but aprta from that i think the concept could easily work :D

You no what looking back i actually like teh more simpler version fromt he start. just think its more threadless..

Yeah you guys, I thought that too about my first draft... that's why it was purposefully simple. No one voted for it though, so I got the impression that it sucked. Personally, my fave versions are 1 and 7, and I agree that this is taking on a comic-book feeling. Hmm..



Any other thoughts? I really like this concept but I can't decide on what would work best.

I think they should both be leaned against the wall, half sitting half lying down.. like someone who is "pasted" might look like. and of course, some toothpaste.

wow. this changed so radically from version 1 to version 8 that I think you would have hit on something that worked along the way. It's a good concept, but I guess there's a point where you just go ahead and submit a design you're pleased with or move on to something new.



On a more constructive note, if you drop out the white stuff and the tile background in lieu of a large tube of squeezed toothpaste, that might work. :D

i would go with 1. i mean it really looks best and conveys the point. i'm not diggin the later styles as much.



http://www.threadless.com/critique/18547/Hypotemoose



love it love it love it

kinda sucks for you threadless folk are capricious

maybe just suds at the bottom instead of a tile background

I think I'm just going to submit v7, it's the closest to what I was going for and I think adding a bunch of stuff in the background of this one really just makes it cluttered.. here goes nothing!