I am such an idiot. I accidentally deleted my original critique of the same image seen here. This was actually supposed to be the 3rd version. Either way please let me know what you think!

Haha, cool!! One thing though, I just read today that signatures are not allowed, so you may want to remove it before you submit the final.



Otherwise, very good work!!

thanks, I will definitely remove when I submit the final version!

Like your stuff, cosmo2389 is right about the signatures.

this is pretty cool. i'd maybe just have him sitting further down on the shirt.

this is a cool illustration. i would try different placements, like further down and/or to the side.



thx for the feedback, i'll submit soon, so keep an eye out!

Lower placement and you're good to go. Love this design!



Score mine, please?

http://www.threadless.com/submission/226682/Drawn_of_the_Dead

I will definitely do the lower design, coming soon!

looks like a drugged up Pumba! I like it!

maybe the tail can be tipped upward to flow with the legs and the tusk

Yes! Maybe try a lower left placement on this. One thing I'm not sure about though is the warthog's left tusk is way bigger than the right.

Here it is with the placement on the lower left!

I love the lines in this. I think it would be even better if there was some background to give it an environment. Seems a little disembodied just sitting alone on the shirt.

yeah i think I will add a little something to it, I was thinking it does look a little plain

something like a Mc Donalds in the back would be nice, and the pig eating a burger

something like a Mc Donalds in the back would be nice, and the pig eating a burger

lol, I don't know if I will go that far, but lets see!

I am such an idiot. I accidentally deleted my original critique of the same image seen here. This was actually supposed to be the 3rd version. Either way please let me know what you think!

added some background mess to fill in the empty space!

Great design I really like the detail on the hog and the art marks that you used for the background. Try adding shadow for the hog so it looks like he is sitting on the floor and not on air. Also see what other colors u could use for the t-shirt or even the background so you have a diversity to choose from. Other then that good stuff.



Thanks for your feedback on my design I really appreciate it.

I see what you mean about the repeating lines, will definitely rework that

I'm not feeling the background brushes. I'd try different brushes. They look like you just randomly threw them in there without really thinking about it much. They don't really add anything to the piece. I'd get rid of them or think more carefully about what you want behind the pig.



Also, yes definitely shade his arse so he doesn't look like he's sitting on an invizbl bike. LOLpig

Kinda weird with the square behind it. The square takes away from the main focus which is the the warthog.

You should have like a kid going somewhere but saying, And the warthog comes along. ANd him dragging the warthog in a wagon.

I'm thinking of turning the orange spotches into overweight butterflies?

sounds like a plan

you could replace the brushes with paint splatters to resemble mud, but i think the butterflies would be more interesting. good luck :)

looks like a turd pile, sry

The background isn't working. I like the style and the drawing of the animal. But at the moment it is just a warthog on a shirt. It needs more. Give him a story and a real background. Something to make this more interesting. Don't use the Tee template for your presentation. A design always looks better on a real picThreadless Tee Photos on Flickr

Last time I saw this, it was just one color of blue, I think. The shading helps a lot.



The lopsidedness of the tusks has been raised a couple times now. Is there a reason for it? Just how the drawing turned out?

I'm not a fan of the block colours used... and why is one tusk bigger than the other?



As a basic sketch (as you had it in previous versions), this piece demanded attention. Now the colour sees it fade away. Maybe consider trying watercolour paints with the sketch or using some effects on your solid colours to give them more movement again?

hey everyone I am uploading a new revision, check it out in a few! I will also address some of the issues discussed here.

At this point I decided to add some filter effects to the hog to make it stand out more. Also decided to add some butterflies to the background to fill up the empty space on the shirt. Lastly I added a couple of blocks in the back. I may add more.

I am not sure if I will stick with the filter effects as it may increase the number of colors used on the image. As for the tusks, I chose to make one larger than the other purely to make the image a little more interesting. Since many people have questioned it and don't seem to like it, I will probably redo them in the next revision.

after looking at this one again, I have to critique myself and say that the bg and effects aren't working for me...I guess next revision will be more stripped down!

So I fixed the tusks, took out the effects and eliminated the blocks in the bg. I tried adding a floor for the warthog to sit on but so far everything I tried hasn't worked out. Let me know what you think!

This is great! I don't really understand the point admittedly.. but the artwork is fantastic! The only thing I would add is maybe just a little bit of linework grass around the warthog so he isn't floating. But that's all I would add, this is gona be cool :)

And if you're not too busy, I would sure appreciate a comment and score for my second sub ever!!

Thanks, I did try adding grass under him but it didn't look right when I tried it. I will try again tomorrow and see what I come up with!

This is great Ramon! I really like this version.

- Anne Marie

Best of all the versions. But is there a meaning that I don't understand, or is it just a great illustration?

Thanks Anne Marie!



There isn't much meaning behind it that I can quickly think of. I was just trying to create something that was visually appealing.

Maybe the hornets could be a bit smaller? But I like it.

finally this is starting to look good. he has little baby hands LOL. que lindo. yeah, some grass might spice it up, and as I mentioned before, try shading his ass, that way it looks like he's sitting on something. Cheah.

I agree with what ars fera said about some kind addition to make it so he isnt just floating

I LOVE THIS

Super cool Ramone!

These are the best tusks, I am not a fan of the bugs though. They appear rather large as if they are coming out of the shirt, but do not appear to be very much in front of the warthog to me.

Maybe just a couple hints of grass, so he doesn't appear to be floating

Ok, I added some grass to give the impression that the warthog is sitting on something. I kept it light and simple so it wouldn't detract from the original image!

the design on the shirt is a bit big for me, and the insects are rather large compare to the warthog, maybe size them down a bit and add more of them or maybe flies circling the warthog.



if you have time:



Score and Comment on this Design

And This

i already subbed it but thanks for the comment on my critique maybe you can just drop a score and comment, thanks:) i really like the style of how you drew them, it suits them.

Thanks! I did score both. I like your work!!

man this is fantastic!!

thanks, does anybody think i should remove the color swatches on the left before i submit?

sorry, no comment - nothing to add ;) submit it!

looked again. hmm.. maybe boar could say something. Just some expression in words "phhh.." or "oh". you get the idea.

it just a little detail and it realy got place in right side of the drawing :))

i like the grass effect. great job! :)

Looking really good! I agree that the design is a bit large on the shirt. Try making it smaller if you can. Also, i'd say remove the swatches, there is no need for that, really.



Thanks for you comment on my piņata design, BTW!

Ok guys this is the final version before I submit!

awesome yay final version! hope it all works out. it looks friggin great!

thanks!!

Look great! Cool!

it might actually pass. if it does, I'm taking you out for drinks and whores. splendid whores. GL

k guys thanks for the support, I am going to take a chance and submit right at this very moment!

OOOOO!!! I like! I think it would be a great print option as well.

eheh, nice style!

Submit this. It's beautiful. I love the drawing style and the colors. Just lovely.



Please comment/critique mine.

http://www.threadless.com/critique/53346/i_want_to_be