Threadless

ZombieToArt
ZombieToArt aka Jayson Dougherty is a 24.58 year old boy, has been a member since December 16, 2006, has scored 358 submissions, giving an average score of 2.21, helping 16 designs get printed.
AIM: ZombiBubonik
I wonder if Isaac Newton realized the gravity of his discovery
of 69 votes, 38% like it
It turns out tunnel vision isn't a real superpower
of 36 votes, 50% like it
If walls could talk, I'd be in a lot of trouble
of 21 votes, 33% like it
X marks the spot just in front of Y
of 33 votes, 36% like it
A heart of gold sounds like a serious medical condition
of 46 votes, 54% like it
I cook my eggs sunny side up because it sounds happier
of 38 votes, 47% like it
I want to learn to procrastinate but I keep putting it off
of 38 votes, 55% like it
Did anyone ever find Carmen Sandiego?
of 40 votes, 55% like it
My sleeping pattern is checkered
of 43 votes, 51% like it
What a bear does in the woods is none of your business
of 49 votes, 49% like it
My wit is quicker than a cheetah with a jetpack
of 42 votes, 52% like it
This is the second most mysterious shirt you'll ever read
of 33 votes, 55% like it
I may be a terrible liar but at least I discovered Antarctica
of 54 votes, 74% like it
I prefer to let my shirts speak for themselves
of 42 votes, 43% like it
The other side of the road has a booming chicken tourism industry
of 54 votes, 69% like it
Violence isn't the answer? I didn't know it was a test
of 51 votes, 43% like it
Wild horses are unstable
of 42 votes, 38% like it
If you can't beat them, accuse them of cheating
of 43 votes, 63% like it
1001 out of 1010 people won't get this
of 36 votes, 42% like it
These days life just gives me lemonade mix
of 51 votes, 67% like it
The early bird can have the worm, I'm staying in bed
of 41 votes, 56% like it
Everything was going right for me but I was just going in circles
of 33 votes, 67% like it
0.9 out of 1.0 mathematicians need to overcomplicate things
of 37 votes, 65% like it
I'll punch the next person who tells me violence isn't the answer
of 32 votes, 50% like it
Comedy is so violent, a good punchline can leave you in stitches
of 33 votes, 42% like it
I figured out the cheat code for the game of life
of 33 votes, 30% like it
Rattlesnakes are the most festive of deadly serpents
of 53 votes, 62% like it
If you give me $100 I'll split the profits with you
of 40 votes, 33% like it
Exactly how many wrongs does it take to make a right?
of 43 votes, 56% like it
Remember me? From the place? Yeah you still owe me that ten bucks
of 36 votes, 31% like it
Fairy tales teach us that long ago people really hated their kids
of 67 votes, 81% like it
NASA hasn't found any Martians because they're all ninjas
of 45 votes, 38% like it
Astronauts like to get high
of 53 votes, 51% like it
NASA are always sending people into my personal space
of 45 votes, 31% like it
I got fired from the post office for pushing the envelope
of 50 votes, 50% like it
Invisible mimes: When less annoying doesn't mean more successful
of 39 votes, 31% like it
(Backwards)How long did it take you to read this?
of 39 votes, 44% like it
Slow and steady wins the lie detector test
of 42 votes, 40% like it
You, me, high five, let's make this happen
of 57 votes, 67% like it
In case of emergency, my body can be used as a hugging device
of 46 votes, 57% like it
I'm smarter than you, I have another t-shirt that says so
of 38 votes, 34% like it
You're entitled to your opinion but it doesn't make it right
of 36 votes, 36% like it
Minds don't have to be great to think alike
of 39 votes, 49% like it
Mathematicians see the glass as containing 50% liquid
of 36 votes, 42% like it
I don't have an addictive personality, I just love everything
of 35 votes, 46% like it
Science has yet to prove that dinosaurs didn't wear tiny hats
of 78 votes, 81% like it
We're long overdue for a zombie apocalypse
of 44 votes, 43% like it
I know you're trying to read this without me noticing
of 59 votes, 42% like it
Every time you blink I turn invisible for a split second
of 69 votes, 64% like it
Then someone wearing a self-narrating shirt walked by...
of 77 votes, 66% like it
Ignore me, I'm just an extra in this scene
of 58 votes, 64% like it
Alliteration almost always adversely affects an argument
of 61 votes, 62% like it
The world will tremble in fear once I perfect my evil laugh
of 58 votes, 64% like it
So far, I seem to be immortal
of 69 votes, 61% like it
Wow, this all feels so realistic
of 52 votes, 48% like it
My invisible shirt technology still has a few bugs in it
of 49 votes, 31% like it
Life is too short to reach the cookies
of 39 votes, 26% like it
There are 2 kinds of people, those who finish what they start and
of 45 votes, 49% like it
Advanced math, keeping the Greek alphabet alive
of 58 votes, 69% like it
The more you know, the more often you can argue
of 45 votes, 51% like it
I substantiate my superiority via superlative linguistics
of 42 votes, 40% like it
A bed of roses is much more painful than romantic
of 60 votes, 50% like it
Semi-colons; They can make anything look smarterer
of 50 votes, 48% like it
Doors: The natural enemy of the wall
of 42 votes, 36% like it
City basketball taught me about teamwork and bulletproof vests
of 49 votes, 51% like it
Robots dance The Human
of 57 votes, 42% like it
Ice cream headaches are the best kind of pain
of 57 votes, 47% like it
Combining tea and coffee does not make toffee.
of 58 votes, 55% like it
This is just a normal shirt (GLOW) ...Except it's HAUNTED!
of 44 votes, 43% like it
I build all my conversations around witty one-liners
of 45 votes, 33% like it
The sun is the high light of my day
of 59 votes, 53% like it
The second most attractive things in the world are mirrors
of 63 votes, 32% like it
I found some ancient water perfectly preserved in ice
of 60 votes, 33% like it
Misusing superglue keeps families together
of 54 votes, 46% like it
Everything is better when it's rated R
of 57 votes, 35% like it
Sometimes a duckling is just ugly
of 59 votes, 41% like it
The trick to high standards is only having them for easy stuff
of 55 votes, 33% like it
Underwear just wants to get in your pants
of 58 votes, 45% like it
The sky's the limit, unless you're a fish
of 63 votes, 46% like it
This shirt builds suspense...or does it?!
of 69 votes, 41% like it
Experimental fabric-based torso protector
of 60 votes, 32% like it
5 out of 6 people agree, Russian Roulette is lots of fun
of 105 votes, 73% like it
When I grow up I want to be a tyrannical overlord
of 64 votes, 42% like it
I hate incorrect use of question marks?
of 76 votes, 50% like it
Everything was cooler in the 80s
of 57 votes, 37% like it
You say attempted murder like it's a bad thing
of 57 votes, 44% like it
True wisdom can only be obtained by growing a long white beard
of 61 votes, 46% like it
Being smarter than the average bear isn't really that impressive
of 75 votes, 64% like it
You'll be sorry when I figure out how to burn things with my mind
of 57 votes, 37% like it
If you could read my mind you'd wish you hadn't
of 56 votes, 34% like it
I never thought sliced bread was that great
of 58 votes, 40% like it
You can't spell nonsense without nsen
of 67 votes, 43% like it
Sorry, I'm not Waldo
of 75 votes, 32% like it
Hello. Goodbye. I just saved us from an awkward conversation.
of 75 votes, 33% like it
I got arrested for breaking Murphy's Law, what else can go wrong?
of 66 votes, 33% like it
If you're reading this, I'm not naked yet
of 101 votes, 51% like it
The voices in my head do a great Schwarzenegger
of 100 votes, 36% like it
If my calculations are correct, you've just finished reading this
of 112 votes, 31% like it
Hi, I like to introduce myself through shirts
of 113 votes, 35% like it
I hate when people don't finish their sentenc
of 146 votes, 34% like it
Fight the power, switch off your lights
of 161 votes, 44% like it
I wish I had $1 for everytime someone read this
of 172 votes, 33% like it
Lies are just the truth that hasn't happened yet
of 169 votes, 35% like it
A friend in need is a friend in debt
of 157 votes, 33% like it
Wikipedia made me an expert on everything
of 197 votes, 55% like it
Ask me about my apathy. Or not. Whatever.
of 225 votes, 61% like it
Today is a fine day for adventure!
of 176 votes, 31% like it
The only thing to fear is fear itself. And clowns.
of 200 votes, 54% like it
This shirt glows when I'm near smart people
of 176 votes, 44% like it
Cannibals all want a piece of me
of 175 votes, 40% like it
I'm the person who coughs during a silence
of 186 votes, 46% like it
There is a kitten hidden somewhere on this t-shirt
of 196 votes, 31% like it
Learning something new everyday just proves how little you know
of 189 votes, 32% like it
High-fives are a universal language
of 190 votes, 32% like it
Movies - Ruining the book since 1920
of 252 votes, 76% like it
Benjamin Franklin did it for the electric guitar
of 185 votes, 32% like it
I have a photographic memory, I just always leave the lens cap on
of 191 votes, 38% like it
Math jokes are equal to or greater than regular jokes
of 223 votes, 56% like it
Cotton candy is edible magic
of 187 votes, 36% like it
Long story short, it turned out to be a giraffe
of 200 votes, 49% like it
In case of fire, emergency marshmallows are beneath your seat
of 191 votes, 40% like it
Marine life is under a lot of pressure
of 178 votes, 31% like it
Flying isn't as hard as it looks, but the ground is
of 206 votes, 52% like it
Politician.exe is a corrupt file
of 183 votes, 39% like it
Life is like a box of chocolates, dark and full of nuts
of 188 votes, 43% like it
I wish for world peace...and a kitten riding a unicorn
of 185 votes, 37% like it
If you recieved my psychic message, just smile and nod
of 194 votes, 48% like it
I value your opinion, the earplugs are just for show
of 185 votes, 36% like it
I hated everyone before it was cool
of 183 votes, 34% like it
Slogans that have been deleted or that have been dropped from the contest
<f>People talk about me behind my back <b>This perso
of 0 votes, 0% like it
"Doesn't play well with others" - My 4th grade teacher
of 29 votes, 3% like it
(F) Tune into the back for the exciting conclusion! (B) The end.
of 21 votes, 19% like it
(In small writing)Object in t-shirt may be closer than it appears
of 26 votes, 19% like it
(On back) Come on, you don't see me staring at YOUR back
of 28 votes, 21% like it
(UV)Don't blame it on sunshine.(Glow)Don't blame it on moonlight.
of 42 votes, 21% like it
0.9 out of 1.0 mathemeticians need to overcomplicate things
of 1 votes, 100% like it
10th Level Pinball Wizard
of 39 votes, 5% like it
A baby firefly is a hot larva
of 14 votes, 0% like it
A pole-vaulting career has its ups and downs
of 23 votes, 22% like it
A real witch
of 21 votes, 5% like it
A slice of life is full of empty calories
of 26 votes, 15% like it
A wise man once said, "I wonder how this would taste with sy
of 0 votes, 0% like it
A word of warning, never challenge the sun to a staring contest
of 12 votes, 17% like it
Abbreviations are P.M.T.G.T.E
of 5 votes, 20% like it
Absence makes the grass grow longer
of 28 votes, 11% like it
Aliens won't make contact until we at least figure out jetpacks
of 21 votes, 10% like it
All of my jokes are stolen from TV shows
of 22 votes, 27% like it
All of your opinions are wrong
of 17 votes, 18% like it
All the online world's a stage and all the people merely players
of 10 votes, 0% like it
All the rumors about me are true
of 33 votes, 6% like it
An academic always avoids abundant alliteration
of 10 votes, 10% like it
An altruistic academic almost always avoids abundant alliteration
of 41 votes, 29% like it
Angry beavers are nature's axe murderers
of 16 votes, 13% like it
Antique time-traveller's t-shirt, circa 2184
of 21 votes, 19% like it
Any mistakes I make are intentional
of 13 votes, 8% like it
Are there any lumberjacks that AREN'T ok?
of 7 votes, 0% like it
Are you reading this t-shirt or mentally undressing me?
of 49 votes, 16% like it
As far as you know, I'm normal
of 47 votes, 15% like it
Ask me about my awesome hugs!!
of 60 votes, 17% like it
Ask me about my fear of answering questions!
of 8 votes, 0% like it
Ask me about my horrible secret
of 26 votes, 19% like it
Ask me about my ice-breaking t-shirt
of 53 votes, 13% like it
Australians are from the future
of 7 votes, 0% like it
Bad analogies are like camels without sledgehammers
of 13 votes, 23% like it
Beauty is only skin deep, after that it gets pretty gross
of 11 votes, 9% like it
Being a superhero doesn't pay the bills
of 11 votes, 9% like it
Being smarter than an average bear isn't really that impressive
of 3 votes, 67% like it
Boredom leads to the dark side
of 3 votes, 0% like it
Brain-washing class taught me a lesson I'll never forget
of 20 votes, 20% like it
Bring back catapults!
of 23 votes, 0% like it
Burglar alarm installers have good job security
of 17 votes, 6% like it
Butterflies are nature's most misleading creatures
of 23 votes, 17% like it
Can you hear a high-pitched droning? Wait, never mind, it's you
of 45 votes, 11% like it
Cheap water balloons have saturated the market
of 53 votes, 9% like it
Clowns that go bad travel in unicycle gangs
of 6 votes, 0% like it
Cogito ergo censeo. I think, therefore I argue
of 17 votes, 6% like it
Color TV killed the detective genre
of 15 votes, 13% like it
Comedy, either you've got it or you don't get it
of 20 votes, 10% like it
Conspiracy theorists are out to get you!
of 19 votes, 16% like it
Could you repeat that? I'm still slightly intelligent in one ear
of 74 votes, 20% like it
Crime doesn't pay, unless you're a professional henchman
of 24 votes, 17% like it
Dear diary, sometimes I think I should just buy a regular diary
of 23 votes, 9% like it
Death, taxes and embarassing photos, the three certainties
of 12 votes, 0% like it
Deja vu: The fanciest way to say "going crazy"
of 24 votes, 13% like it
Despite what certain singers say, rocketman isn't a real job
of 32 votes, 28% like it
Destiny tried to call but my phone's battery was dead
of 9 votes, 11% like it
Did anyone else ever notice that the moon is naked?
of 7 votes, 0% like it
Disbelieving soldiers drive skeptic tanks
of 26 votes, 12% like it
DJs are always turning the tables
of 25 votes, 16% like it
Do I still leave a carbon footprint if I wear shoes?
of 14 votes, 21% like it
Do mixed up feel ever little a you?
of 32 votes, 22% like it
Do unto others as they deserve
of 55 votes, 16% like it
Does "Transformers fan" count as a job?
of 20 votes, 10% like it
Does this shirt seem to have more questions than answers?
of 2 votes, 0% like it
Does this shirt seem to raise more questions than answers?
of 4 votes, 0% like it
Don't disturb me, I'm having a flashback
of 48 votes, 19% like it
Don't even get me started on finish lines!
of 33 votes, 12% like it
Don't make eye contact, I don't want to get too attached
of 6 votes, 0% like it
Don't mind me, I'm just (UV)day(reg.)dreaming
of 9 votes, 0% like it
Don't pick fights with beaches, they have lots of mussels
of 62 votes, 18% like it
Don't read this t-shirt, it's cursed! Uh oh, too late
of 8 votes, 25% like it
Dr. Frankenstein was good at making a living
of 19 votes, 11% like it
Ellipses always tend to trail off...
of 14 votes, 14% like it
English is a dead language and the internet is what killed it
of 13 votes, 15% like it
Et tu, Fruit?
of 23 votes, 9% like it
Even if you die a loser, at least you get a Participation award
of 49 votes, 12% like it
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, except you
of 25 votes, 20% like it
Everyone told me I had to grow up someday, I sure showed them!
of 6 votes, 0% like it
Everything I say is an innuendo
of 19 votes, 16% like it
Excuse me, this is a private party
of 41 votes, 17% like it
Fairies don't even have tails! My childhood is ruined!
of 24 votes, 25% like it
Fast food has made me slower
of 35 votes, 20% like it
Feel free to talk to me whenever you want. But not right now.
of 49 votes, 22% like it
Feel free to wake me if I doze off
of 14 votes, 21% like it
Fiction stories are just lies with a plot
of 17 votes, 12% like it
Follow your dreams! Unless there's something good on TV
of 26 votes, 19% like it
Follow your dreams, there's nothing better to do
of 20 votes, 15% like it
For some reason I attract angry mobs
of 35 votes, 20% like it
Getting out of bed is enough daily exercise for me
of 14 votes, 7% like it
Graffiti is just exterior decorating
of 26 votes, 15% like it
Grammar is very capitalist
of 17 votes, 29% like it
Grapes and apples always end up grappling
of 28 votes, 14% like it
Great minds think alike, which is why politicians always argue
of 22 votes, 23% like it
Has anyone ever REALLY wondered why the chicken crossed the road?
of 11 votes, 0% like it
Have you seen any castles? The princess wasn't in the last one
of 8 votes, 0% like it
Henchman for hire
of 77 votes, 23% like it
Hot dogs are nature's lies
of 17 votes, 0% like it
HTML is the language of love.com
of 21 votes, 5% like it
Hugs: 5 cents. The doctor is in.
of 16 votes, 0% like it
I always thought cosmonaught sounded cooler
of 1 votes, 0% like it
I always thought cosmonaut sounded cooler
of 3 votes, 0% like it
I always trail off instead of...
of 95 votes, 24% like it
I am a robot sent from the future to wear this shirt
of 22 votes, 9% like it
I ate some red flowers but I still can't throw fireballs
of 21 votes, 24% like it
I base all my life decisions on movies from the '80s
of 23 votes, 22% like it
I brake to save vs. lawsuits
of 14 votes, 0% like it
I breath for a living
of 21 votes, 10% like it
I broke the sound barrier but then I had to pay for it
of 9 votes, 0% like it
I can get this baby up to 10 mph
of 21 votes, 10% like it
I can go faster than the speed of light but it's too dark to see
of 8 votes, 0% like it
I can grant you three wishes, so long as they're all "Get na
of 2 votes, 0% like it
I can read your mind. Oh man, that's disgusting!
of 48 votes, 15% like it
I can shoot fire from my nostrils, but I don't feel like it
of 51 votes, 16% like it
I can take this off if you want
of 17 votes, 12% like it
I can't even remember a time when I didn't have amnesia
of 9 votes, 11% like it
I can't think of anything funny
of 13 votes, 8% like it
I chat with ghosts using an Ouija keyboard
of 43 votes, 9% like it
I do NOT enjoy long walks on the beach
of 29 votes, 3% like it
I do things in slow motion to emphasize my greatness
of 12 votes, 17% like it
I don't drink alone, I just run a very exclusive drinking club
of 14 votes, 7% like it
I don't have all the answers, just all the important ones
of 10 votes, 0% like it
I don't just give my attention away for free
of 21 votes, 10% like it
I don't make mistakes, I just don't like to look too superior
of 37 votes, 27% like it
I don't want to be a success, just more so than my old classmates
of 3 votes, 0% like it
I dress in layers, I'm wearing my birthday suit under this
of 18 votes, 0% like it
I eat the last piece
of 19 votes, 11% like it
I fell into a cave but only suffered miner injuries
of 19 votes, 11% like it
I figure that evil has to triumph over good eventually
of 22 votes, 14% like it
I forget things before I even think of them
of 42 votes, 21% like it
I get all the sleep I need at work
of 22 votes, 23% like it
I go to concerts for the lasers
of 13 votes, 15% like it
I got arrested because my jokes always left people in stitches
of 18 votes, 22% like it
I got arrested for killing two birds with one stone
of 42 votes, 29% like it
I got drunk at a Mars bar
of 10 votes, 0% like it
I had to close my detective agency when I lost my keys
of 21 votes, 19% like it
I hate ironic self-referencing t-shirts like this one
of 54 votes, 17% like it
I hate people who spell things feneticully
of 12 votes, 17% like it
I hate things that glow in the dark (GLOW) and irony
of 10 votes, 30% like it
I have a lovely personality
of 33 votes, 6% like it
I have a plan for every possible situation except this one
of 18 votes, 17% like it
I have night vision! (glow) But it doesn't work when it's dark
of 20 votes, 20% like it
I have no time for this, I'm on an epic quest!
of 16 votes, 13% like it
I have seen the future and it is...pretty much the same actually
of 18 votes, 17% like it
I have the power to fly for extremely short periods of time
of 13 votes, 15% like it
I have the power to make you hear these words in your head
of 7 votes, 0% like it
I have the power to squish your head between my fingers
of 17 votes, 18% like it
I have to put this is briefly as possible in case I run out of ro
of 25 votes, 16% like it
I heard the Karate Kid works in a car wash now
of 34 votes, 18% like it
I hope no-one learns that fire is my one weakness
of 96 votes, 26% like it
I hope you're not reading my mind right now
of 25 votes, 12% like it
I invented a new word, feel free to jorp me about it
of 7 votes, 14% like it
I invented making up inventions
of 21 votes, 14% like it
I just broke out of prison and boy are my arms tired
of 24 votes, 17% like it
I just invented plagiarism
of 22 votes, 23% like it
I keep expecting the Spanish Inquisition but they never show up
of 27 votes, 22% like it
I know jack of all trades
of 18 votes, 6% like it
I know what you're thinking and the answer is yes
of 12 votes, 8% like it
I learned everything I know from cartoons
of 60 votes, 23% like it
I less-than-three maths references
of 32 votes, 16% like it
I light fires (in smaller writing) in your heart
of 14 votes, 7% like it
I like teddy bears and I don't care who knows it
of 34 votes, 9% like it
I like waffles. That is all.
of 83 votes, 24% like it
I liked school, I had some of my best naps there
of 21 votes, 24% like it
I love confusing people almost as much as I hate confusing people
of 28 votes, 21% like it
I may not know much about t-shirts, but I know what I like
of 14 votes, 7% like it
I nevar payed attenshun in skool and I terned owt fine
of 21 votes, 5% like it
I never abbrev.
of 15 votes, 20% like it
I never really wanted to see you later, alligator
of 18 votes, 11% like it
I never wanted to be normal anyway
of 28 votes, 21% like it
I realised far too late that I wasn't in a sperm bank
of 10 votes, 0% like it
I refuse to watch any sport that's on less than ESPN 3
of 14 votes, 0% like it
I regret my future decisions
of 30 votes, 13% like it
I save the world in my spare time
of 34 votes, 21% like it
I should take up golf, I'm great at getting the lowest score
of 54 votes, 39% like it
I smashed my piggy bank, now we're both broke
of 25 votes, 20% like it
I solve everything by hitting it with a stick
of 15 votes, 13% like it
I solve my problems with pistols at ten paces
of 42 votes, 24% like it
I still haven't met a hitchhiker who had a guide to the galaxy
of 19 votes, 16% like it
I think you should reflect [written backwards] on your actions
of 7 votes, 14% like it
I think, therefore I argue
of 18 votes, 11% like it
I took time off from the internet to be here
of 14 votes, 7% like it
I touch fuzzy to get dizzy
of 45 votes, 4% like it
I travel by warp pipe
of 47 votes, 15% like it
I tried to brainstorm once but I just caused a blackout
of 16 votes, 6% like it
I try not to make lame jokes but sometimes they limp slightly
of 5 votes, 0% like it
I try to time travel in my DeLorean but just get speeding tickets
of 17 votes, 12% like it
I used to be my own boss but I had to let myself go
of 55 votes, 29% like it
I wanted to be a policeman but I just couldn't eat so many donuts
of 3 votes, 0% like it
I wanted to join the police but I couldn't eat enough donuts
of 8 votes, 13% like it
I was going to put something really funny here, but I forgot it
of 34 votes, 12% like it
I was so bad in school that my ABCs got a D
of 9 votes, 0% like it
I was young, I needed the money
of 163 votes, 26% like it
I watched an operating theatre but I couldn't follow the plot
of 11 votes, 18% like it
I wish real life had emoticons colon left-bracket
of 22 votes, 18% like it
I won gold at the nude olympics for my winning streak
of 16 votes, 19% like it
I would eat less food if they stopped making it so damn tasty
of 25 votes, 16% like it
I wouldn't touch non-contact sports
of 7 votes, 14% like it
I'll be rich once I figure out how to put saddles on raptors
of 26 votes, 23% like it
I'll be the bait
of 46 votes, 9% like it
I'll be the round peg to your square hole
of 6 votes, 0% like it
I'll believe in reincarnation if I get to come back as a lion
of 29 votes, 10% like it
I'll get you in round 2
of 46 votes, 9% like it
I'm a (graphics) whore
of 27 votes, 11% like it
I'm a cannibal and on an unrelated note you sure look juicy
of 7 votes, 0% like it
I'm a console war veteran
of 20 votes, 10% like it
I'm a cyborg sent from the future to watch TV and eat junk food
of 20 votes, 15% like it
I'm a hard fleshy shell wrapped around a creamy organ center
of 9 votes, 11% like it
I'm a professional writer, I've been writing things for years
of 17 votes, 18% like it
I'm actually quite clever underneath this t-shirt
of 17 votes, 12% like it
I'm bored, entertain me
of 10 votes, 0% like it
I'm considered a delicacy in some parts of the world
of 78 votes, 28% like it
I'm cranky because I didn't have my nap today
of 12 votes, 8% like it
I'm eco-friendly! Some of my best friends are ecosystems!
of 57 votes, 7% like it
I'm homo for sapiens!
of 23 votes, 13% like it
I'm just a fictional character lost in your non-fictional world
of 16 votes, 19% like it
I'm just here to make up the numbers
of 20 votes, 10% like it
I'm just part of the cheer squad
of 26 votes, 4% like it
I'm just waiting for a chance to break out into song
of 9 votes, 0% like it
I'm just wearing this for a friend
of 5 votes, 0% like it
I'm laughing at you, not with you
of 50 votes, 18% like it
I'm not homeless, but can I have some change anyway?
of 78 votes, 24% like it
I'm on that new "Eat Whatever You Want" diet
of 19 votes, 11% like it
I'm only here because I took the wrong warp pipe
of 52 votes, 19% like it
I'm only wearing this because all my other clothes are dirty
of 30 votes, 3% like it
I'm quickly losing patience
of 52 votes, 12% like it
I'm stalking the person in front of me
of 78 votes, 22% like it
I'm the Shirt Reader Killer
of 43 votes, 21% like it
I'm too apathetic to even finish my sente...
of 78 votes, 23% like it
I'm too scared to use my fireplace, it roared at me
of 7 votes, 0% like it
I'm trained in 5 kinds of martial arts and 3 kinds of dance
of 19 votes, 0% like it
I'm waiting for someone to tell me my motivation
of 16 votes, 6% like it
I'm worth 100 points
of 52 votes, 10% like it
If anybody asks, I was never here
of 56 votes, 21% like it
If I had a job I'd hate it
of 23 votes, 22% like it
If I had a second chance I'd do it all the same
of 35 votes, 23% like it
If I had one wish it would be to stop hypothetical situations
of 27 votes, 22% like it
If I lose an extra life, I go through the 5 bonus stages of grief
of 4 votes, 0% like it
If I lose at a game I go through the five bonus stages of grief
of 19 votes, 16% like it
If it ain't broke, don't give it any of your change
of 15 votes, 7% like it
If it's called underwear, why isn't everything else overwear?
of 11 votes, 9% like it
If my track record is anything to go by I'm going to live forever
of 8 votes, 13% like it
If there's one thing I've learned it's not to trust flamingos
of 17 votes, 6% like it
If this t-shirt has bloodstains, please lead me to a hospital
of 33 votes, 12% like it
If you are reading this, you passed the first test
of 46 votes, 15% like it
If you break the law of gravity you can only get a light sentence
of 30 votes, 10% like it
If you don't understand this t-shirt, I can't explain it
of 12 votes, 17% like it
If you haven't got anything nice to say, say it behind their back
of 30 votes, 17% like it
If you read this t-shirt on your floor, you'd be home by now
of 5 votes, 0% like it
If you see me outside, please guide me to the nearest shady spot
of 4 votes, 0% like it
If you're reading this t-shirt, I'm stealing your wallet
of 56 votes, 18% like it
If you're reading this, it was too hot for a sweater
of 50 votes, 14% like it
In a few minutes this place will be crawling with cops
of 24 votes, 21% like it
In school I dreamed of being rich, then my teacher woke me up
of 16 votes, 13% like it
In stunning 3-D!
of 15 votes, 7% like it
Insane robots get given robotomies
of 14 votes, 7% like it
Insomniacs are up for anything
of 16 votes, 25% like it
Internet acronyms FTW!
of 10 votes, 20% like it
Invaders from space came and stole my change
of 13 votes, 8% like it
Is it my imagination or did that purple aardvark just wink at me?
of 21 votes, 14% like it
Is there anyone following me?
of 52 votes, 15% like it
It amuses me to wear this primitive human garment
of 23 votes, 9% like it
It seems my distracting t-shirt is successful
of 18 votes, 22% like it
It's amazing how many people are poets without even knowing it
of 8 votes, 13% like it
It's more PC to ask the ref if he's visually impaired
of 21 votes, 24% like it
Joke shops are always up to funny business
of 22 votes, 5% like it
Lag is the #1 killer of noobs in this country
of 53 votes, 19% like it
LAN parties are a great place to network
of 18 votes, 22% like it
Left-handed police are the wrong arm of the law
of 43 votes, 14% like it
Let me save both our breath by giving the answer on a t-shirt: No
of 59 votes, 12% like it
Let's make today a better day
of 28 votes, 4% like it
Let's stop denying our feelings for each other
of 56 votes, 14% like it
Lies are just truths that haven't happened yet
of 62 votes, 24% like it
Life has been less fun since I outgrew glitter
of 22 votes, 27% like it
Life has taught me some tough lessons, for only $19.95 + shipping
of 27 votes, 7% like it
Life has taught me some tough lessons, for only $19.95 plus P&
of 5 votes, 0% like it
Life is a beautiful thing, made gross and sticky by science
of 14 votes, 21% like it
Life is boring, what else is on?
of 24 votes, 17% like it
Life is like a metaphor, it sounds better in your head
of 19 votes, 21% like it
Life is like a metaphor, you can't always understand them
of 22 votes, 23% like it
Life was a lot simpler back when everything was primordial goo
of 17 votes, 24% like it
Life: It kinda sucks sometimes
of 23 votes, 13% like it
Live fast. Die young. Come back as a zombie. BRAAAINS.
of 18 votes, 17% like it
London Bridge has been falling down for a really long time now
of 13 votes, 15% like it
Long distance runners know how to go the extra 6 miles
of 19 votes, 21% like it
Long walks on beaches aren't really that great
of 13 votes, 31% like it
Looking for crew members. Must be loyal and good with a cutlass
of 179 votes, 27% like it
Looking out for #1
of 43 votes, 12% like it
Lost mind. Answers to Fluffy. Reward offered.
of 5 votes, 0% like it
Mankind will never be safe until we invent laser guns
of 38 votes, 29% like it
Married zombies have grave affairs
of 18 votes, 11% like it
Mime artistry is my silent passion
of 21 votes, 24% like it
Missing: Solid gold, jewel-encrusted suit of armor. $10 reward
of 16 votes, 6% like it
Most of my jokes are stolen from TV shows
of 6 votes, 0% like it
Multiple personalities are nothing but trouble. No they aren't!
of 23 votes, 17% like it
Music lessons are sound advice
of 188 votes, 27% like it
Mutants, the final front ear
of 12 votes, 0% like it
My best friend lives in a mirror
of 55 votes, 18% like it
My body is 60% water, 40% awesome
of 26 votes, 42% like it
My hypothetical situation could beat yours up
of 18 votes, 11% like it
My job as a criminal on the run lets me travel all over the world
of 24 votes, 21% like it
My job is really just an excuse to wear a suit
of 28 votes, 21% like it
My nightmares are purebreeds
of 33 votes, 9% like it
My ninja skills are so good, even I can't find them
of 51 votes, 18% like it
My pet could out-cute your pet
of 12 votes, 0% like it
My plumbing knowledge is a little rusty
of 26 votes, 23% like it
My speakers go to 11, I got them cheap because they're irregular
of 10 votes, 0% like it
My t-shirt talks for me because I'm actually asleep
of 18 votes, 22% like it
My wit is so sharp I cut myself on it, can I have a band-aid?
of 43 votes, 9% like it
NASA: Not A Single Alien
of 8 votes, 13% like it
Nature abhors a vacuum, that's why dogs bark at them
of 27 votes, 22% like it
Necessity is the mother of invention, the father is sci-fi movies
of 8 votes, 0% like it
Needles in haystacks just want to be left alone
of 13 votes, 15% like it
Nerds are men of fractions
of 44 votes, 18% like it
No-one must ever learn my terrible secret
of 37 votes, 19% like it
Nothing is perfect, but I'm pretty close
of 37 votes, 14% like it
Obey me, I'm your future emperor!
of 15 votes, 0% like it
Of course the chicken came first, eggs don't even have legs
of 19 votes, 21% like it
One day we'll reminisce about the time you read my t-shirt
of 15 votes, 20% like it
One man's trash is still just trash
of 21 votes, 24% like it
One of these days the can will actually have beer nuts in it
of 19 votes, 16% like it
Only another few hundred years until the new millennium!
of 27 votes, 4% like it
Optimists should be arrested for trying to break Murphy's Law
of 34 votes, 26% like it
Originality is like a box of chocolates...
of 20 votes, 15% like it
Pacman is neither a pack or a man.
of 47 votes, 17% like it
Painting bits of string is a fine art
of 0 votes, 0% like it
Painting strands of thread is a fine art
of 13 votes, 15% like it
Paranoid conspiracy theorists are out to get me!
of 10 votes, 0% like it
People will agree to anything if you use big enough words
of 17 votes, 24% like it
Phones have a lot to answer for
of 75 votes, 24% like it
Please make an appointment with my secretary first
of 34 votes, 15% like it
Poor Virgin Mary, it seems like everything makes baby Jesus cry
of 21 votes, 5% like it
Practice makes perfect, unless you practice sky diving
of 58 votes, 14% like it
Printing Machine Error #117364x
of 16 votes, 13% like it
Professional polka player As seen on the World Polka Tour
of 4 votes, 0% like it
Professional Shadow Boxer
of 33 votes, 9% like it
Professional time waster
of 19 votes, 21% like it
Professional wrestling, now with 10% more greased-up actors
of 7 votes, 0% like it
Public schools; paving the way to mediocrity!
of 85 votes, 24% like it
Puddles can be so shallow
of 180 votes, 27% like it
Pushing daisies in any direction is very rude
of 13 votes, 8% like it
Rattlesnakes are only one letter and a gun away from battlesnakes
of 11 votes, 0% like it
Reading this shirt is a legally binding agreement not to talk
of 58 votes, 19% like it
Reading this was your first mistake
of 6 votes, 17% like it
Real eskimo pies are mostly made of fish
of 19 votes, 21% like it
Real men fight using fish
of 50 votes, 8% like it
Reincarnation will do until I can put my brain in a robot
of 27 votes, 19% like it
Relatives is just an anagram of evil stare
of 63 votes, 19% like it
Revolution: The evolution of a revelation
of 11 votes, 9% like it
Rock paper scissors, the gentleman's sport
of 55 votes, 18% like it
Rocket science isn't so hard, it's not exactly brain surgery
of 18 votes, 22% like it
Russian Roulette is the most fun you can have shooting yourself
of 58 votes, 26% like it
S! I thought having a giant S on my chest would make me popular
of 15 votes, 0% like it
Save your breath, talk with t-shirts
of 10 votes, 10% like it
School was created by a race of aliens that feed on apathy
of 17 votes, 6% like it
Schools of fish don't like field trips
of 49 votes, 14% like it
Secret Club Member
of 33 votes, 15% like it
See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil, but touch is okay
of 50 votes, 6% like it
Shields are something I can really get behind
of 12 votes, 17% like it
Shooting Star, because Flaming Space Junk doesn't sound as nice
of 22 votes, 27% like it
Show me on this t-shirt where you want to touch me
of 37 votes, 11% like it
Sleeping during the day is the height of luxury
of 9 votes, 11% like it
Sleeping is just choosing when to pass out
of 29 votes, 10% like it
Smart people say things with their shirts, not their mouths
of 38 votes, 26% like it
So far the humans don't suspect anything...
of 5 votes, 0% like it
Solve your problems with fire
of 43 votes, 16% like it
Someday all of this will be mine
of 27 votes, 7% like it
Someday I'll find the droids I'm looking for
of 18 votes, 17% like it
Someday I'll get to tell someone not to cross the streams
of 6 votes, 0% like it
Someday you'll tell your kids about the day you saw me
of 27 votes, 22% like it
Someone is gonna start World War 3, it may as well be me
of 26 votes, 12% like it
Sometimes I feel like our clothes are coming between us
of 53 votes, 28% like it
Sometimes it's tough being this awesome... but not right now
of 12 votes, 17% like it
Sorry, this t-shirt is meant for someone else
of 27 votes, 19% like it
Space pirates sail the starrs
of 28 votes, 21% like it
Spies keep their suits clean with secret cleaning agents
of 8 votes, 13% like it
Spilling the beans usually just results in messy floors
of 16 votes, 25% like it
Standard Earthling Clothing #3
of 35 votes, 9% like it
Step 1: Maple cough syrup. Step 2: Eat pancakes, never get sick
of 46 votes, 20% like it
Sticks and stones may break my bones if you throw them too hard
of 8 votes, 13% like it
Sticks and stones may break my bones, so please be careful?
of 21 votes, 10% like it
Stop reading so loud, I have a headache
of 10 votes, 0% like it
Stop staring at me and watch where you're going!
of 27 votes, 7% like it
Stop. Think. Now speak.
of 63 votes, 19% like it
Submarine sandwiches make poor seafaring vessels
of 44 votes, 18% like it
Superhero on break
of 38 votes, 11% like it
Superman is a criminal, he breaks the law of gravity
of 9 votes, 11% like it
Tell your sheep to stop selling me lightbulbs
of 26 votes, 12% like it
Thank for Atheism!
of 38 votes, 3% like it
The acting term "Break a leg" isn't as popular with stu
of 0 votes, 0% like it
The back of this t-shirt is blank
of 50 votes, 20% like it
The bad guy only needs to win once
of 21 votes, 10% like it
The conversation may be recorded for blackmail purposes
of 51 votes, 16% like it
The discovery of fire was followed shortly by the cheeseburger
of 39 votes, 21% like it
The early zombie gets the worm-infested brain
of 15 votes, 7% like it
The Force is equal to mass times acceleration in this one
of 19 votes, 5% like it
The future: Taking the fiction out of science fiction
of 19 votes, 16% like it
The future: yesterday's tomorrow...today!
of 27 votes, 15% like it
The game of Life doesn't have much replay value
of 78 votes, 22% like it
The internet is the only friend I need
of 12 votes, 8% like it
The internet made me do it
of 55 votes, 22% like it
The internet never sleeps so neither do I
of 19 votes, 21% like it
The internet ruins everything
of 37 votes, 16% like it
The moon landing was fake, they weren't attacked by moon monsters
of 7 votes, 0% like it
The most popular thumb always wins in thumb wrestling
of 18 votes, 22% like it
The next world war will be started on an internet forum
of 13 votes, 23% like it
The only certain things are death, taxes and porn on the internet
of 3 votes, 0% like it
The only disease I don't have is hypochondria
of 31 votes, 16% like it
The path to happiness is obscured by the fog of war
of 21 votes, 10% like it
The phrase break a leg isn't as popular with movie stuntmen
of 27 votes, 19% like it
The present: Yesterday's tomorrow...today!
of 32 votes, 16% like it
The question is, am I any better off for NOT wearing an eyepatch?
of 16 votes, 19% like it
The saying "Break a leg" isn't as popular with movie st
of 3 votes, 0% like it
The spice of life is actually oregano
of 39 votes, 23% like it
The sun always wins our staring contests
of 15 votes, 20% like it
The three wise monkeys never had much fun
of 45 votes, 9% like it
The trick to winning is not picking a side until afterwards
of 30 votes, 23% like it
The undead need to get a life
of 33 votes, 15% like it
The undead prefer to be called the reliving
of 14 votes, 21% like it
The Universe: Home to all creation since 13.73 billion BC
of 15 votes, 20% like it
The washing machine shredded my clothes in a vicious cycle
of 23 votes, 26% like it
The wearer of this t-shirt is hereby declared awesome
of 56 votes, 13% like it
Theatre companies often resort to industrial thespianage
of 20 votes, 15% like it
There's another smaller person inside me
of 28 votes, 21% like it
There's no such thing as smart casual
of 19 votes, 0% like it
These days I stick my fingerpaintings on my own fridge
of 20 votes, 20% like it
They broke the mould when they made me, I'm still paying for it
of 13 votes, 8% like it
They say reading t-shirts is the first sign of madness
of 16 votes, 6% like it
They say talking about madness is the first sign of madness
of 48 votes, 8% like it
They'll never suspect that it prints my thoughts AND fires lasers
of 14 votes, 7% like it
This awesome shirt is only for awesome people
of 5 votes, 0% like it
This crunchy shell hides a cream filling
of 42 votes, 7% like it
This crunchy shell is hiding a cream filling
of 40 votes, 20% like it
This hard candy shell hides my tasty chocolate center
of 28 votes, 18% like it
This is my custom skin
of 49 votes, 10% like it
This is my smart casual
of 11 votes, 18% like it
This is my [vertical down the middle forming a letter T] T-shirt
of 21 votes, 0% like it
This is the official t-shirt
of 21 votes, 24% like it
This shirt draws attention away from my pants
of 21 votes, 14% like it
This shirt is a parody of itself
of 11 votes, 0% like it
This shirt is EXTREEEMEly anticlimactic
of 18 votes, 6% like it
This shirt is illegal, please don't call the police
of 34 votes, 12% like it
This shirt is repetitive, but at least it doesn't repeat itself
of 59 votes, 15% like it
This shirt isn't meant to be read!
of 4 votes, 0% like it
This shirt shields the world from my sexiness
of 29 votes, 24% like it
This shirt shoots lasers, try to guess where from!
of 7 votes, 0% like it
This t-shirt has expired
of 39 votes, 8% like it
This t-shirt has nothing to do with misdirection
of 14 votes, 21% like it
This t-shirt is made of chocolate, go ahead, try some!
of 18 votes, 17% like it
This t-shirt is misleading
of 62 votes, 8% like it
This t-shirt is my crowd camouflage
of 33 votes, 21% like it
This t-shirt is reflecting my mood
of 20 votes, 5% like it
This t-shirt is saying what we're all thinking
of 11 votes, 9% like it
This t-shirt was funny until the censors got to it
of 53 votes, 11% like it
This Threadless.com t-shirt contains no advertisements
of 9 votes, 0% like it
This was never in my job description
of 17 votes, 12% like it
Three Little Pigs is a poor depiction of pig construction skills
of 9 votes, 22% like it
Three things are certain in life, death, taxes and my awesomeness
of 18 votes, 6% like it
Trees are all bark and no bite
of 19 votes, 21% like it
Trees use eco-systems when they gamble
of 11 votes, 0% like it
Trolling: The internet equivalent of prank calls
of 21 votes, 5% like it
Trust me, what could go wrong?
of 56 votes, 18% like it
Unmasked vigilante
of 41 votes, 12% like it
Vampire jocks turn into baseball bats
of 7 votes, 14% like it
Vampires, the only killer monsters with fangirls
of 12 votes, 0% like it
Video games aren't my life, they're my extra life
of 53 votes, 13% like it
Video games taught me that jumping on heads solves everything
of 23 votes, 22% like it
Villains have more fun
of 14 votes, 21% like it
Wanted: Goldilocks. For: Breaking and entering, porridge theft
of 13 votes, 15% like it
Warning! Writing on t-shirt may be closer than it appears
of 46 votes, 7% like it
Watch out for the quiet ones...
of 16 votes, 6% like it
We're not living in the future until everything hovers
of 12 votes, 0% like it
What a bear does in the woods is his own business
of 16 votes, 19% like it
What can you do for me today?
of 28 votes, 4% like it
What does the future hold? Ask me tomorrow
of 60 votes, 17% like it
What happened to all the regular dermic syringes?
of 45 votes, 13% like it
What I'm about to say will blow your mind. Brain dynamite.
of 12 votes, 17% like it
What's wrong with hugging trees, anyway?
of 42 votes, 19% like it
Whatever you do, don't look up
of 39 votes, 8% like it
When a zombie eats your brains, it means they like you
of 188 votes, 29% like it
When I was younger I kidnapped all the time
of 13 votes, 23% like it
When life gives you lemons, drink tequila
of 57 votes, 23% like it
When you get right down to it, this t-shirt is totally pointless
of 8 votes, 13% like it
Where do the rainbows hide when its not raining?
of 76 votes, 21% like it
Wherewolves get lost a lot
of 12 votes, 17% like it
Who knows what the future will bring! (I hope it's candy)
of 31 votes, 19% like it
Whoever said words can never hurt me never heard a bad pun
of 5 votes, 0% like it
Why aren't there any movies about cops who follow all the rules?
of 26 votes, 4% like it
Why can't the easy way ever be the best way?
of 7 votes, 0% like it
Why doesn't anything ever happen twice upon a time?
of 18 votes, 22% like it
Why don't supermarkets wear capes?
of 40 votes, 23% like it
Why would I put my eggs in a basket anyway?
of 17 votes, 24% like it
Wish I weren't here
of 62 votes, 13% like it
Woof woof bark (Translation: "I was raised by dogs")
of 19 votes, 5% like it
Words fail me, so I keep pictures as backup
of 15 votes, 13% like it
Wouldn't a chick magnet be something you stick to chicks?
of 15 votes, 13% like it
Writer's block is... an... annoying... thing
of 11 votes, 9% like it
Yeah, sarcasm works reeally well on a shirt
of 17 votes, 18% like it
Yes, my favorite ice cream is still rainbow, got a problem?
of 45 votes, 9% like it
You can trust me, my nose would grow if I lied
of 11 votes, 9% like it
You can't meet your heroes and you can't escape your villains
of 7 votes, 0% like it
You can't spell social interaction without ACTION!
of 18 votes, 6% like it
You catch even more flies with a fly hunting robot
of 32 votes, 16% like it
You have to help, this printing machine is running out of ink and
of 19 votes, 16% like it
You say no but in the language I just invented you really say yes
of 26 votes, 23% like it
You won't get anywhere if you stop to read every t-shirt you see
of 27 votes, 19% like it
You wouldn't believe what agnosticism has taught me
of 38 votes, 11% like it
You wouldn't believe what goes on under this shirt
of 6 votes, 17% like it
You'd better read this quickly, I'm in a hurry
of 22 votes, 14% like it
You'll be working for me someday
of 27 votes, 7% like it
You're on my list, I hope you like surprises
of 23 votes, 13% like it
You're the first person to read this today
of 15 votes, 13% like it
Zebras are just horses stuck on static
of 53 votes, 15% like it
Zombie under construction
of 45 votes, 9% like it

Check me out, I got printed!



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All about me