I can convince anyone of anything...except for girls to like me.
of 8 votes, 25% like it
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I think he was gay. He kept trying to kiss me during intercourse.
of 10 votes, 20% like it
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Is it redundant to sweep a dirt floor?
of 9 votes, 11% like it
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Any such thing as a vegetarian Zombie?
of 8 votes, 13% like it
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I bit a wolf and it turned into a werehuman.
of 8 votes, 50% like it
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why do girls smile when they're angry but cry when they're happy?
of 7 votes, 14% like it
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I'll destroy you...in beerpong.
of 7 votes, 29% like it
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you're not a man till you kiss a man.
of 10 votes, 30% like it
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Do native Spanish speakers know how fast they're talking?
of 8 votes, 25% like it
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Am I a racist if I only dislike my own race?
of 8 votes, 13% like it
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Ever crap so hot you had to leave wet tissue between the cheeks?
of 11 votes, 18% like it
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I can take him...If he wasn't looking...and I had a bat.
of 8 votes, 25% like it
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Soy burgers are good...except for their flavor.
of 11 votes, 9% like it
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don't trust whitey. That's my neighbor, he's a black guy.
of 8 votes, 13% like it
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That didn't count, I put up a force field before you touched me.
of 9 votes, 11% like it
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only after beating him up did I realize i had the wrong guy.
of 8 votes, 25% like it
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love thy neighbor...in soy sauce.
of 12 votes, 8% like it
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you want to eat again? I fed you yesterday!
of 11 votes, 9% like it
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I think I'm getting a chubby.
of 11 votes, 18% like it
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how do you hitch hike without hands?
of 9 votes, 33% like it
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Sometimes girls think they\'re people too.
of 11 votes, 18% like it
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Sometimes girls think they\'re people too.
of 11 votes, 0% like it
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Sometimes girls think they're people too.
of 6 votes, 0% like it
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Sometimes girls think they're people too.
of 5 votes, 0% like it
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Sometimes girls think they're people too.
of 6 votes, 0% like it
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Did you know BMW is an acronym for "I'm an a**hole" in
of 13 votes, 15% like it
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Love thy neighbor. But not their neighbor, that guy's weird.
of 15 votes, 47% like it
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A fifth wheel's great for person with a flat tire.
of 21 votes, 24% like it
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We're all suffering... let's suffer together and make it a party.
of 19 votes, 11% like it
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Oprah ain't Jesus.
of 23 votes, 22% like it
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Why is that baby crying? I fed it yesterday...
of 21 votes, 14% like it
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Margarine: Melts in your mouth but not out your fat...
of 21 votes, 10% like it
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enlightenment happens by accident. yoga makes you accident prone.
of 22 votes, 27% like it
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There's no such thing as a red 40 tree.
of 22 votes, 14% like it
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Two Leaps Forward, Four Steps Back.
of 23 votes, 9% like it
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My only flaw is that I'm flawless.
of 22 votes, 32% like it
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Quotes are hard to remember.
of 19 votes, 16% like it
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My father is an only child. So is his brother.
of 15 votes, 7% like it
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