I'm an actor acting painfully average.
of 27 votes, 11% like it
|
An elephant never forgets. Unless it develops amnesia.
of 29 votes, 24% like it
|
superpower: awesome at being painfully average.
of 29 votes, 14% like it
|
|
An apple a day, gives me 7 apples in a week.
of 24 votes, 17% like it
|
Absence makes the heart continue palpitating at regular intervals
of 22 votes, 23% like it
|
If a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, I need life insurance
of 26 votes, 23% like it
|
|
Without this shirt on I'd be half naked.
of 24 votes, 21% like it
|
Hi, I'm a humanoid robot named Jeffery.
of 22 votes, 9% like it
|
I'm Techno-viking in disguise.
of 25 votes, 4% like it
|
|
10 facts about lazy people
1. they never finish things.
of 19 votes, 32% like it
|
I'm actually a ninja attending a dress up party.
of 21 votes, 38% like it
|
I'm actually a spy dressed as a dude.
of 19 votes, 16% like it
|
|
I may look like a civilian but I'm actually a pirate in disguise.
of 14 votes, 21% like it
|
Assassin for hire. (qualifications: deals a killer death stare)
of 15 votes, 20% like it
|
Assassin for Hire. (got up to a yellow belt)
of 14 votes, 21% like it
|
|
I could be procrastinating, but I think I'll save it for later.
of 16 votes, 38% like it
|
Jesus loves you. But I'm his top friend on myspace.
of 12 votes, 33% like it
|
God Loves you. But I'm his top friend on facebook.
of 14 votes, 36% like it
|
|
My dad hits harder then you.
of 13 votes, 31% like it
|
If we are what we eat, that makes me cheap, cheesy and easy.
of 14 votes, 36% like it
|
Santa's jolly coz he knows where all the naughty girls are.
of 14 votes, 29% like it
|
|
This shirt gave me mind control. Just made you read this message
of 28 votes, 18% like it
|
Without me in it, this shirt is just aweso.
of 26 votes, 31% like it
|
I enjoy referring to myself in first person.
of 23 votes, 17% like it
|
|
Unlike my bro Jesus, the God of awesome is visible to mortals.
of 24 votes, 13% like it
|
Procrastination. The key to the future, where you can dump stuff.
of 24 votes, 4% like it
|
No, I am not a magnet to cats.
of 24 votes, 8% like it
|
|
I heart cheeseburgers without the cheese.
of 24 votes, 13% like it
|
I'm so good at mind-control I just made you read this message.
of 24 votes, 29% like it
|
I'm so wicked at mind-control I just made you read this slogan.
of 24 votes, 13% like it
|
|
This shirt is just aweso, without me in it.
of 14 votes, 43% like it
|
This shirt is FULL of awesome. Only when I'm in it.
of 10 votes, 30% like it
|
I'll have a cheeseburger, with cheese please.
of 13 votes, 23% like it
|
|
This is a magical shirt. My sixpack disappears when I take it off
of 15 votes, 33% like it
|
I have a six pack... when it's covered by this shirt.
of 16 votes, 19% like it
|
I once had a hot girlfriend. Then I woke up.
of 15 votes, 13% like it
|
|
I used to be a Gun-show, but then I became the Governor.
of 21 votes, 24% like it
|
Please tell your chesticles to stop staring at my eyes.
of 21 votes, 24% like it
|
I use this shirt to cover my nipples.
of 15 votes, 40% like it
|
|
Hookers are diabolical. Does that make me Satan's apprentice?
of 17 votes, 24% like it
|
I used to be cool:
Back when walking >crawling.
of 13 votes, 23% like it
|
