Wake me up when you're gone
of 19 votes, 32% like it
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Life isn't a roller coaster. It's just the queue.
of 18 votes, 39% like it
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you expect me to believe that santa can climb out a chimney?
of 17 votes, 24% like it
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Stop pretending. We all know you're not really clever
of 16 votes, 31% like it
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I only drink expired water
of 19 votes, 26% like it
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board games are so third grade
of 18 votes, 22% like it
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my dolls think I'm to imaginative
of 19 votes, 16% like it
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my pony days are over. I killed them all.
of 19 votes, 37% like it
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I bear a comprehensive vocabulary. It's utterly proficient.
of 17 votes, 24% like it
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my job doesn't involve money-making
of 19 votes, 32% like it
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Remember me? We were in the same plane crash
of 17 votes, 29% like it
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I thought you were intelligent. My bad
of 27 votes, 30% like it
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People often mistake me for a piñata
of 27 votes, 33% like it
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I'm a part-time zombie
of 29 votes, 38% like it
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I was born like this. I know, right?
of 27 votes, 26% like it
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Uncreative, unimaginative, untalented. Check, check, check.
of 25 votes, 20% like it
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my circulatory system is avoiding me
of 24 votes, 17% like it
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my imaginary girlfriend just dumped me
of 28 votes, 39% like it
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an angry mob stole my hat
of 22 votes, 18% like it
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My unicorn is cooler than yours. Get over it.
of 25 votes, 28% like it
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I have two pancreas
of 24 votes, 17% like it
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I'd rather ride a carousel
of 22 votes, 32% like it
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Disappointment: my only appointment this week
of 27 votes, 44% like it
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a thought for your pennies
of 29 votes, 17% like it
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Be quiet, I'm trying to ignore you
of 24 votes, 38% like it
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Make me happy. Shut up.
of 26 votes, 35% like it
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